23 July 2005

Cost of discipleship

After writing yesterday about Buffy and the cost of discipleship, I opened my daily Bible reading guide this morning and discovered that the passage for today was perhaps the classic Biblical text on that topic: Jeremiah chapter 20. Go read it. Yes, put Buffy on pause and read your Scripture--it's only 18 verses.

Wow, Jeremiah's poetry in that chapter is some raw, powerful stuff, to make an understatement. I've felt that kind of despair, but as a result of chemical-based clinical depression, not as a consequence of living out my call. Inevitably, this "dark night of the soul" will one day occur in the context of my discipleship. I pray that, like Jeremiah (and Buffy), I have the strength and courage to wail and weep and yet to trust and persevere.

Faith is not the absence ot doubt; faith is maintaining commitment in the face of doubt--even overwhelming doubt and despair. God, grant me that kind of faith. Amen.

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